Labour's of Gooder

Once upon a time, there lived a young man named Gooder. Gooder was a kind soul, but his self-doubt was as big as a dragon and twice as scary. He spent his days fretting over his personality, his looks, his career, and his academic studies, all in the hopes of finding a girlfriend who would see the goodness of his DNA within him.

But Gooder’s life was no fairy tale. He was a man of logic—scientific, rational, and painfully aware of every tiny flaw in himself. Armed with knowledge of evolutionary psychology, Gooder often lamented that no girl seemed interested in his "genetic potential." His dark humor about his "low value" might have been funny to others in HKGALDEN, but to Gooder, it was just his way of coping. He was a gamer, an engineer, and—recently—a trader at an investment bank. On paper, he was accomplishing great things, but in his mind, he was a nerdy, procrastinating mess with zero romantic prospects.

Gooder wanted to change. And not just in one way—oh no, he wanted a complete overhaul. He wanted to become the kind of man who could walk into a room, turn heads, and leave with the admiration of everyone present. But the journey ahead was daunting. Fortunately (or unfortunately), fate had other plans for Gooder.

One fateful morning, as Gooder sipped his third cup of coffee at his desk, his phone buzzed with a message from his long-time friend, Max.

Max: “Yo, Gooder, you’re overthinking your life again, aren’t you? I’ve got an idea. You know Hercules and his 12 Labors, right? Same concept, but modern. I’ll give you 7 Labors, and if you complete them, you’ll be a new man. Plus, I’ll buy you a steak dinner.”

Gooder stared at the text. It was absurd. It was juvenile. But it was also... interesting. A structured challenge with a reward at the end? It appealed to his gamer brain. This wasn’t about finding a girlfriend anymore—this was a quest to prove to himself that he could change.

Gooder: “7 Labors? Fine. But if it’s stupid, I’ll block you.”

Max: “Great. First Labor: Go to the gym and actually talk to someone. No excuses.”

Gooder groaned. The gym was his personal battlefield. He went there often but avoided social interaction like it was a boss fight he wasn’t leveled up for. But a challenge was a challenge.

Labor 1: The Gym Gauntlet

The next day, Gooder walked into the gym, his heart racing faster than it did during cardio. He scanned the room, looking for someone who didn’t seem too intimidating. Finally, he spotted an older man lifting weights.

“Excuse me,” Gooder said, his voice cracking slightly. “Are you, uh, using this bench?”

The man turned to him, smiled, and replied, “Nope, all yours, young fella.”

Gooder blinked. That wasn’t so bad. Emboldened, he added, “Thanks. By the way, your form looks solid. How long have you been lifting?”

The man chuckled. “Thirty years. But you’ve got good eyes, kid. Keep at it, and you’ll get there.”

Gooder left the gym that day feeling like he’d conquered Mount Olympus. It wasn’t much, but it was a start. He texted Max.

Gooder: “Done. What’s next?”

Max: “Labor 2: Wear something other than your engineering hoodie and jeans for a week. You’re not 19 anymore.”

check your mind immediately

wow. 5** eng

Tldr

What the fuck did I just read