熱水壩康復日記

關注自己睡眠都唔得？

得

但你似係咁係度揾reason解釋每一樣變化 ，同對變化都好敏感

似未move on 到仲係度assess 個damage 多d

耳塞

慘

康復未？

5 is like a magic number

Woke again. No sweat

Before that i had 2 dream

Forgot the first one 只記得屙尿

第二日夢係跟一隊去一個單位搵寶石但地下有床失

個個都唔著鞋 但有著襪 feel到痕

跟住掃到好多晶石

跟著門口有人放煙霧彈入嚟 我去打開窗

無路走之下我搵到窗外有逃生方法 好似小朋友落樓梯game咁

之後有人嚟正門救左我地

最後我走左去同一個女人kiss就醒左

未

去叫雞吧 D壩

原來你係雞蟲

I think i am 80% ok

already 2 weeks

Wrote a letter finally (drafted in sep9, change a lot of the content)

Take it to the post office and it is over

5am woke again w wet panties, fk, I just fapped ytd

Letter to who

Yourself ?

Faped=failed

Fapped=go nuts or ejaculated

letter is to her

last night 4am, woke up with full body sweat, even my calves, that's new

I forgot to turn on ac

You know her address?

You creep

see? you are assuming things and judging again

she told me

札醒第一次 特登唔睇時間

之後夢到佢著黃色長裙 同見到little imp

(最近睇緊got)

5:50又醒

無汗

壩仔仲未好返

日有所思點會好返

如果對方突然打嚟佢仆出去搵人添

間唔中諗起姐

發夢我都控制唔到

我已經好撚理性 準時返工食飯屙屎訓覺

今日5點無札醒

Delay兩之鬧鐘都訓到8點

可惜要返工

愛就係咁

日有所思夜有所夢

一日未結婚其實都未輸架

真愛就係咁痛苦

結左婚都未輸架

阿寶竟然信婚姻

誠信破產疑人不用

呢兩日可以瞓到六點

冇扎醒

但係個人攰過上星期

冇嘢做嘅時候都係掛住佢

9畀佢ghost左就快一個月

三個月內

由十二年前無講過野嘅同班同學

到6月喺多倫多食左好幾次飯 摘藍莓行街買餸

到早午晚都傾ig 嘅close friend

途中Cmb match過但好快停左

但無啦啦又用Whatsapp搵我

我整過肉餅同湯 佢話有家嘅味道

甚至一星期有4日一齊放工 煮完再出街食糖水deeptalk

想買衫會facetime畀我睇

到一日我wfh都出左去接佢

第二日就restricted, 幾日後unfollowed我

我whatsapp問一句就block埋

變返陌生人

兩星期後我心情平靜返少少 手寫左一封信畀佢

Google map上刪左佢地址

you whom i thank because i did not die without having loved, even though my love was unhappy

🚬

條女咁都有既，d signal 真係好容易誤會

擺明行家特登玩鳩啲有好感嘅人

所以我一直都話

問題一直唔喺鼻涕獸D度

唔應該攞嚟同孤打做比較

未輸架

佢放唔底家呀佢想同你成家呀土月巴仔

其實咁睇重呢件事無乜意義

第一次係痛d, 我講乜你都好難話唔理就唔理

但好多女都係咁，見多幾條女就知呢d事會成日發生

你就唔會咁上心，唔咁上心呢個態度會係同女interaction 個時d條會feel到

唔咁上心 -> 多選擇-> high value men，d女人最鐘意

女人stated preference 同reveal preference 係唔同

認真

仲比番封信佢都係嘅意義都係你自己做比自己

做到咁樣人地ghost左仲揾人只會比人當low value/ creep

當你creep都好，條女下次唔會亂咁玩人感情

Ghost 你都係一種reply, 意思係唔想再同你講任何野，你心入面有無d人你一句都唔想同佢再講，you are the same to her.

So why put yourself so low, like you are begging for some kind of interactions with her, hoping it will do you any good.

Hi,

Its been quite over the last month, I am writing to follow up on our interview for the position. I wanted to thank you again for your time and consideration. I enjoyed learning more about the role, and I am excited about the opportunity to join your team.

This job application, what does it reveal about you. Do you expect the recruiter saying we are still interviewing other candidates

今日 可以訓到鬧鐘響

隻眼都係好攰好眼瞓

可唔可以唔返工

你係咪抑鬱呀