有冇人識鐵幕笑話?

Warned that an inspector would be visiting the school shortly, a school‐ teacher in Bulgaria told her pupils to write an essay which would be shown to the inspector on his arrival. The teacher praised the efforts of one small boy, Ivan, who wrote in his essay: “I have a lovely black cat. It has three kittens. AIl of them are Communists.”

On the day of the inspector's visit, the teacher noticed with surprise that Ivan's essay now read: “I have a lovely black cat. It has three kittens. Two of them are Communists.”

“Why did you change your essay, Ivan?” the teacher asked.

“Because,” he said, “one of the kittens opened its eyes this morning.”

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保加利亞某學校將會有官員嚟監堂，咁老師就同班學生講，要作定篇文俾人睇。個老師特別嘉獎Ivan同學篇文：「我有一隻可愛嘅黑貓。佢有三隻小貓。佢地都係共產黨員。」

但係到左監堂個日，Ivan改左篇文做：「我有一隻可愛嘅黑貓。佢有三隻小貓。有兩個係共產黨員。」

「點解你改左篇文嘅，Ivan?」，老師問。

「因為，」Ivan回答，「今朝其中一隻小貓擘開左隻眼。」

唔識

咁得意

Dog in a capitalist country: "Life is good! When I'm hungry, I just have to bark, and my family gives me some meat."

Dog in a country that's becoming socialist: "What is 'meat'?"

Dog in a socialist country: "What is 'to bark'?"

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資本主義國家嘅狗狗：「生活真係好！當我肚餓個陣，我吠兩吠就有肉食。」

變緊做社會主義嘅國家嘅狗狗：「乜野係肉？」

社會主義國家嘅狗狗：「乜野係吠？」

每日150隻蝗蟲連吠都唔洗吠就有肉食

問：亞當和夏娃真的是最早的共產主義者嗎？

答：應該是，他們幾乎沒有衣服穿，也沒有家，但仍相信自己住的地方是樂園。

more

So Stalin wakes up in the morning and goes out on his balcony. "Good morning comrade Sun," he says.

The Sun says, "good morning comrade Stalin, I trust you slept well."

After lunch, Stalin goes for a walk. "Good day, comrade Sun," he says.

The Sun says, "good day, comrade Stalin. I hope the day is going well for you."

At sunset, Stalin goes out and says, "good evening, comrade Sun."

Nothing.

Annoyed, Stalin says, "I said good evening comrade Sun!"

The Sun replies, "fuck you! I'm in the west now!"

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有一日史太林起身之後走出露臺。「早晨呀太陽同志。」

太陽回答：「早晨呀史太林同志，你訓得好冇？」

食完晏，史太林去散步。「午安，太陽同志。」

太陽回答：「午安，史太林同志。今日過得幾好？」

太陽落山，史太林走去出面講：「晚安，太陽同志。」

冇回應。

不滿，史太林講：「我話晚安呀太陽同志！」

太陽回答：「屌你，我去左西方喇！」

屌

At a May Day parade, a very old Jew carries a placard which reads, "Thank you, comrade Stalin, for my happy childhood!"

A Party representative approaches the old man. "What's that? Are you mocking our Party? Everyone can see that when you were a child, comrade Stalin hadn't yet been born!"

The old man replies, "That's precisely why I'm grateful to him!"

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起勞動節巡遊，有個老猶太人塊牌寫著：「多謝史太林同志俾我一個快樂嘅童年！」

有個黨代表走嚟問：「搞乜？你係咪恥笑緊我地共產黨？係人都知你細個個陣，史太林同志都未出世！」

個老人回答：「所以我咪多謝緊囉！」

鄉音阿姐錄音：「肥佬黎.....烈屎住人.....」

An old man lines up for hours to buy bread, only to find out there's none left. He flies into a rage, screaming about how horrible and stupid communism is.

A KGB agent walks up to him and tells him to calm down, adding "don't forget what happened to people like you back in the old days" and making a "gun" shape with his hand.

The old man goes back to his apartment, empty-handed. His wife says, "they're out of bread again?"

He replies, "it's worse than you think: they're out of bullets."

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有個老人家排隊買麵包，但係輪到佢個陣已經賣曬。佢發脾氣，大鬧共產主義係幾咁垃圾同弱智。

有個KGB特工走埋去叫佢冷靜D，話：「唔好唔記得以前D好似你嘅人最後咩事。」同時，整左個槍形手勢。

個老人家返屋企，咩都冇買到。佢老婆問：「佢地又冇曬麵包拿？」

佢回答：「仲大獲，佢地冇曬子彈。」

有個古巴少年想追佢表妹嘅一個朋友

個女仔問佢返咩工，個少年話係首都夏灣拿嘅 Ritz Carlton 到推行李

個女仔覺得都幾好，就同佢拍左陣拖

不過，佢好快就發現個少年係講緊大話，就飛左佢

原來佢其實只係一位外科醫生

Lm